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Thanks for your email. I understand the inner pain you are going through. I am the same age as you, I have also been on a journey to find the truth for several years, and though I believe I have found some answers, I myself still suffer from frequent doubt and struggle with my faith. I believe in Jesus Christ and the Gospel of universal reconciliation, but the fear of hell had already infected my mind and I'm not sure if it can ever be completely removed in this lifetime. I think to some extent it's a pathological thing, like the fear just takes over your mind and you can have anxiety attacks, panic attacks, etc. Fortunately, now that I know the truth about the loving and forgiving message of Jesus, this is not so much of a problem anymore -- but the fear is still always there hovering in the background, like a demon in the shadows, waiting to attack whenever I let my guard down and surrender to negative thoughts. For me, the biggest difficulty has been understanding that God still loves me and is saving me even though I am afflicted with chronic illnesses and my prayers for a cure have been unsuccessful. When I became a Christian almost three years ago, I did so partly because I was afraid I would go to hell if I did not profess faith in Jesus. I thought that was what Christianity was all about -- warning people that God will torture you forever unless you have the correct beliefs. I began attending a conservative Christian church and associating with fundamentalists who believed that all non-Christians will go to hell, and that even many people who think they are Christian are not "really" saved and therefore at risk of damnation. I believed that if I was a good enough Christian, I would not only be saved from hell, but also would experience miracles in my life such as renewed health and success. When that didn't happen, I began questioning my salvation. This ultimately led me on a path of deepening doubt and despair, until finally I went through a crisis of faith and realized I could no longer believe in the fundamentalist interpretation of Christianity; I would have to either find a different way of understanding the Gospel or else become an agnostic again. I discovered a lot of resources on the internet teaching the idea that God plans to save all people in the end through the work of Jesus Christ, that we have nothing to fear from God except that He will teach us some difficult lessons which may be temporarily painful or hellish, but that He loves all souls and would never condemn anyone to eternal torment. Christian Universalism has kept me from descending into depression and terror so intense that I would be at risk of suicide. As I see it, there are several good arguments for universalism. Some of the arguments come from the Bible, and others come from logic, common sense, and trusting our heart. It is important to study all the arguments, pray about it, and try to come to a place where you feel both intellectually and spiritually that you understand why universalism should be true and why you ought to believe in it. At that point, you just have to have faith. Arguments, thinking and praying can only take you so far. Eventually you reach a point where you have studied the issues, read the Bible for yourself and considered different translations, and you just have to make a choice about which interpretation of Christianity you are going to believe. Every day, I am choosing to believe God is a God of love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, and salvation for all souls He has created. It's an optimistic faith of hope and trust, that God wants us to love Him like a Father, not fear the possibility of infinite punishment as if God were a sadistic tyrant. I really hope you can find the inner strength to choose to be optimistic about God, and to reject the idea that God will torture some people forever. I know it is difficult, because once the fear of hell is in your mind, it's there like a stain of evil that you can never fully eradicate from your consciousness. The best thing to do is supply yourself with a steady diet of universalist reading material so that you can gain an informed understanding of why Christian Universalism makes sense, which will help you to believe it. Also, pray to God and tell Him you are afraid and confused and ask Him to help you to know and love Him for who He really is. Ask God to show you in your mind and your heart what Jesus really taught and what is the real Gospel. Please read the articles on my website and keep trying to believe that God loves everyone and Jesus is saving all souls. Do not let anyone convince you that the God of Jesus Christ is a torturer who will torture people forever with no hope of ever gaining relief. The arguments for eternal hell are very weak, and mostly based on mistranslation of a few Greek and Hebrew words in the Bible (especially the word aionios which means "age-lasting," not "eternal") and misunderstanding of certain metaphorical imagery in the Book of Revelation. If God is extremely harsh and rejects some people and casts them into hell forever, would Jesus have asked God to forgive the very men who nailed him to the cross? Would he have said, "I will draw all men to myself" (John 12:32)? Would he have said, "Your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36)? Would John have said, "God is love" (1 John 4:16)? Would Peter have said, "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God" (1 Pet. 3:18)? Would Paul have said that God is "the savior of all men, and especially of those who believe" (1 Tim. 4:10)? As for your concern that universalism might be too good to be true, and that people are telling you it's a lie -- first of all, why believe that God is not good? We really can't know for sure until we die, but while we are alive on earth we have a choice about whether we are going to try to have faith in a God who is good, or a god of terror and torture. People who spend a lot of energy fervently arguing against universalism are generally people who are heavily invested, emotionally and intellectually, in a particular philosophy and interpretation of the Bible. In many cases, they have never even honestly explored the arguments for universal reconciliation. In some cases, they choose to dismiss the arguments because they prefer to believe that only born-again Christians who share their creed and church membership will go to heaven, and everyone else will suffer forever. People like believing in such ideas because it makes them feel specially chosen by God, compared to everyone else who will end up in hell. The bottom line is that if universalism is too good to be true, then we might as well forget about having a personal relationship with God. Could you be happy in heaven, knowing that most other people are burning alive for billions of years, never to gain relief? If you are a person of love and compassion, then you could never be happy knowing that there is an eternal oven maintained by your God. Furthermore, the people who advocate the doctrine of eternal hell believe in all kinds of different formulas for exactly what a person must believe and do in order to escape hell and get to heaven. Nobody knows for sure which religious formula is correct, if any of them. I have found that playing the game of trying to find a winning hand to get myself into an exclusive heaven is not worth it -- since neither I nor anyone else can be certain of the rules. It's better just to do the best we can to live by the most important rule of life that Jesus taught: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself." (Luke 10:27). Believing in eternal damnation of some souls interferes in one's ability to truly love God and to love all one's fellow man. Believing in universalism, on the other hand, enables one to cultivate a true love for the true God, and for all other human beings we share this world with. I'm sure that's the kind of belief system Jesus would want us to have. Let me know if there is ever anything you wish to discuss or you have any questions. Peace in Christ,
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Christian Universalist FAQ -- Frequently Asked Questions
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Heavenly Father, please bless this ministry, lead multitudes to this website, and help them see the truth of Your love and forgiveness for all people through the power of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior of the whole world. Open their eyes to Your true nature, take away their fears, and fill their hearts with the Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen. |